Dog In the Nighttime

I'm late, I'm late!
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In this section of the book we find out that Christopher's father was the one who killed Wellington. I find this unimaginably sickening. I've always been an 'animal person'. For example, if someone dies in a movie I might be a little sad but most of the time I just think, "Oh, damn, I liked that character," or "Oh good, I hated him." However, if an animal dies, I think, "WTF. THAT POOR ANIMAL." And sometimes I even cry. So when I read that he'd been the one who killed the dog, I was just a little ticked off. As in, I started saying things (out loud) like, "Asshole!" and "I can't believe that douche bag!"

I was glad that my group-mates agreed with me. It... made me feel better inside that other people are also against animal abuse/murder, because it often scares me when people say things like, "I'd laugh if I saw a dead cat" and things like that. It's wrong. It's fucked up. That cat has just as much right to live as we do. And anyways, we're the ones who brought these wild animals into our lives and domesticated them- pets like cats and dogs can't live without us. They depend on us just as much as any baby, and you don't see half the population beating and starving their newly born children. You don't see them sticking their babies (who haven't even started walking yet) into a large pen and watching as they fight to the death.

Animal rights activist? I think so. Which is why I approve of Christopher running away. Anyone who would stab a dog with a garden fork could stab a person with a garden fork.

Bisexual

People are constantly making assumptions about my sexuality or asking questions that I, personally, find rude. I found a website that basically explains everything: here.

Here's a big one. People are constantly telling me that if I marry a guy then I'm choosing to be straight. If I marry a girl I'm choosing to be a lesbian. They don't understand that no matter which way I go, I'm still bisexual because I'm still attracted to both genders. And I'm not going to have a 'threesome' just because I'm attracted to both genders- I'm a monogamist all the way. People also tend to think that bisexuals are just 'hiding' their true sexuality. Yes, because I'm totally trying to hide the fact that I'm a lesbian by saying that I'm also attracted to girls. Makes SO much sense.

And there's another big one: people are always saying, "Oh, she/he's just confused. It's just a phase." Um, last time I checked, I'm not confused. I've kissed both genders. On the Kinsey scale I rate a 2- I'm mostly heterosexual, but I have a history of homosexuality. I've had experiences with both genders and I am fully aware of being attracted to both genders. It's not a phase. It's not confusion.

And I just had another thought- society shouldn't make these things so darn uncomfortable to talk about. I mean, these things are a completely natural part of life- sexuality, that is, as well as sexual preferences. I mean, without sex none of us would be here, so why is it such a taboo subject? Why do people get so freaked out when it's brought up? I mean, seriously. No one is going to die of some horrible disease because someone else told them something sexual. Although, if the sexual comment was directed at them, I can understand how that might be uncomfortable. BUT. If two close friends are talking to each other and one wants to tell the other about something, it shouldn't be hush-hush and embarrassing. There's nothing embarrassing about it, except that society tells us it is.

So, this blog post was basically: bisexuality isn't this or this and society is terrible the end.

:)

Middle Age

I was reading my brother's blog and I found something I thought was interesting...

The Youthful run bright circles about life crying, "Joy! Joy! The world is Joy!"

The Old walk a slow and deliberate path through life saying, "Time draw reign that I might hold each moment to my breast!"

Those of the Middle age scoff at both schools of thought saying, "The Young are silly and the Old are foolish! The world is harsh and all moments pass!" Yet in their hearts they envy both.

I find this to be completely true. As little kids we're always so cheerful and optimistic. We can never find anything wrong with the world, and we're always the ones cheering other people up. As we get older we look back and remember our childhood through fond memories and sighs of nostalgia. When we're really old we cherish each moment as though it were our last, writing everything down so that we won't forget and trying to make the best out of life.

When we're middle aged we try to act as mature as possible. That's when we're the ones in charge of everything, and it's when we don't have time to have fun or cherish the moments. It's as though suddenly we don't have time to be optimistic. We don't have time for extracurricular activities, and half the time we don't even have enough money to treat ourselves to anything because we have to spend the money on paying off our house, or our car, or buying food for our family...

If only the middle aged people could have some optimism too.

I love, I hate, I move on.

Sometimes I think life couldn't get any better than this, that everything is perfect and the world just keeps throwing better and better moments in my direction. Other times I wonder why I should even bother. What reason is there to drag my ass out of bed every morning? To even try to keep up with the rush and flow of every day living?

Every morning I'm woken up by my blind father and I take a shower. I throw on my clothes, brush my hair, try to remember to put my glasses on. Some days I eat breakfast. I get a ride from Constance an when I get to school I try not to make eye-contact with anyone. I head for Biology and wince as I realize I didn't finish the homework. I get to my table and try to make conversation, but I'm very ignored. For the next class, I am easily entertained by the teacher, but at the same time I see that Mr. Sutherland is getting more and more frustrated by the class as each day goes by, but I don't want to scream like I used to because I don't need any more people to hate me. So I just sit there and try to tell him, with my facial expressions, that I'm apologizing for my classmates.

By the end of English I'm in a better mood, and as I walk to History I hope that it will go just as well, if not better. Sometimes Mr. Fargher is in a good mood and makes lots of jokes; sometimes he isn't in such a good mood and quietly assigns us work. Either way I'm fine. But at the same time I am completely aware of those in my area and I hope, please God, if you exist, don't let anything happen, and don't let anyone say anything. Fourth period is next, Geometry. I find that if I'm hungry from not eating breakfast or I'm in a sour mood, my hand slows down and I can't seem to write fast enough. The notes seem to speed ahead of me, and I find myself abbreviating everything in an attempt to catch up.

Then lunch. Lunch is usually a very relaxed, enjoyable part of my day. For a few minutes, that is. Sure, I laugh and I grin and I make jokes and I talk about happy sunshine unicorns. But I wish I didn't. See, while I'm squealing and giggling and laughing and talking loudly and jumping up and down and moving around, I'm gaining more enemies. People look down on me, I know they do, as though I were a mentally challenged four-year-old. I hate that, because I know that if I were more comfortable around them and if they would just... let... me... talk... I'd be able to prove to them that I actually do have something to say that may or may not be interesting but that doesn't matter because I could be discussing something very 'adult' and I could show them that I can have an intellectual conversation.

Next is PE. Sometimes it's fun. Sometimes it's a nightmare. Either way it's PE and that's that. Lastly I have Writing, another class that I don't always do the homework for, and then seriously regret the next day. This class is often a nightmare as well, since I'm surrounded by people whom I'm sure wish they could be as far away from me as possible. I'm not sure if I feel the same way. I think I'd rather if they could at least pretend to be friendly, because that would make my life a whole lot easier.

And throughout the entire day I'm worrying about my appearance and personality. I feel that I'm too fat, even though my mom is always telling me I'm not (she's supposed to say that, right?). I feel that I'm too judgmental and silly, and that because I was raised around a bunch of loud, goofy Irish folk that took me to Celtic Festivals all the time I'll be a social outcast for the rest of my life.

At the end of the school day I go home and greet my mom, who has a serious of health issues. I start my homework and fall asleep half way through, unfinished. The next morning the whole process starts up again with a groan and a shower. And as I leave my house early in the morning, the cold air nipping at my nose, I ask myself, "Why should I keep going? What purpose is there for me in this world?"

And then the familiar blue car pulls up and I go to school and try to have a good day for once.

Yardsale

"I wonder if this blade ran through someone's side

The blood wiped away to hide

How evil you grandfather was 'fore he died

But war can make monsters out of us all

I'm sure I'd become one if I was called

And then it would be my blade

Here at this yardsale.

The guitar I am holding is way out of tune

The neck it is warped and the saddle is through

I wonder if sweet music ever was played

From the hands of a boy to a girl in the shade

From this rickety ghost of a song

Here at this yardsale.

A dollar for anything here on this quilt

A price tag for hands from which all things are built

A blanket of voices speak pleasure in shame

Flowers of plastic and fruit of the same

A basket of nothing at all

Here at this yardsale.

So if I had the money I'd buy everything

And cover the whole lot with good gasoline

And burn it for all that I care for the past

And rid mother earth of what never should last

And give her the present of ash

Made of a yardsale."

-Yardsale, by the Avett Brothers

Response Post (Such a bland title, I know)

Response to a post Jasiu made... here. Alright, I'm going to try not to say things that are only my opinion, because debating turns into an argument that way, and arguments make people turn against each other.

*

I'm actually responding to a post in which Jasiu is responding to Stan. Jasiu says that Stan's wrong, that religion is necessary for people to live peaceful, just lives with happiness and a substantially dropped amount of murder.

Religion is a crucial part of countless lives. Our modern day laws are based on them and they are the founders of determining what is right and what is wrong. 

I would like, at this time, to point out to Jasiu several wars that were based off of religion. There were the Crusades, in which Europeans swept through the Middle East in order to convert them to Christianity and regain the Holy Land. There were the Thirty Years War and French Wars of Religion, in which France, Germany, Sweden, and Poland all fought between the religions of Catholicism  and Protestantism. There was the Taiping Rebellion, which took place in China and is considered the bloodiest war, with 20 million dead.  These wars are fueled by religious prejudice, which is fueled by corrupt governments. People tend to want to do anything if it means doing it for their religion- in order to spread their religion and 'help other people find the light'. Governments or other people in power use this weakness against the population.

At another point, Jasiu claims that evolution is not right, that it's just something silly.

 If I ask how “did life come to be?”, like many, you would say "evolution" which once again is a theory, not a fact. But the answer "evolution"  greatly lacks and does not explain a major part; the very beginning.

I have several things to say to this. First of all, I'm also curious as to how life started. However, as we do not yet have the technology to find out, I think I'll have to keep dreaming on it. The idea that a big man randomly decided to create an entire world in seven days is a fancy, fun idea that makes little children fall asleep warm and fuzzy inside... the thing is, I see little to no proof that this ever happened. With evolution, we have proof. For example, we have the fossils of extinct creatures, and the structures to prove that they are somehow related to today's creatures. That's more proof than Christianity could ever hope for. (Oh yeah, and the term 'theory'? Yeah, that doesn't mean 'hypothesis'- it means that scientists don't have any kind of message from billions of years ago, carved into a rock, saying, HEY. HEY YOU. EVOLUTION IS REAL.)

Jasiu continues on to ask about  cells and organelles and how they came to be.

Tell me, how can all this complex development come to be?

Biology, my dear Watson. It's survival of the fittest, and a need to be environmentally fit. The cells were  not fulfilling everything they could- there was so much space in the world, so many places to be explored. However, in their one-cell form, they were unable to complete everything they needed to. And anyways, they had so many recourses around them- why not just... evolve?

Curiouser and curiouser

So, earlier I had my discussion with Aakash and Eric about The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. We had our disagreements, but I think the biggest one was about the attitudes of the people towards Christopher, and his attitude towards them. I think that people treat him too harshly, with too much violence and shouting. I mean, they shouldn't even treat normal teenagers like that. I'm here to prove it.

For example, on page seven the police officer says, "I strongly advise you to get into the back of the police car, because if you try any of that monkey business again, you little shit, I will seriously lose my rag." First of all, calling him a 'little shit' is verbal abuse. Police officers are supposed to keep the peace and be good people, instead of calling people 'little shits' and thinking they're guilty before they've even been proven so.

When I tried to explain this to Aakash, he pointed out things like, "What would you think if you saw someone holding a dead dog?" and "Well, he shouldn't have hit him." Alright, I admit, if I saw someone holding a dead dog, I'd freak out. But it depends on what the person looked like. If they looked sad, were rocking back and forth, were crying, or doing something else that showed they were in distress, I wouldn't freak out and think they'd killed it. And about the whole 'hitting' thing. He does not like to be touched, because of how overwhelmed he is at all times, and when someone harshly grabbed him he went berserk. This isn't his fault. He was born that way. You just can't say that he's bad for being completely overwhelmed.

So, anyways, I just completely disagree with Aakash. It's as simple as that. He says that Christopher is wrong and everyone else is right, and I think the complete opposite. It's as though Christopher is the only 'right' person in the entire world. The only human one.